OFF THE RECORD

"Son, they are all my helicopters."

-President Lyndon Johnson after a Marine officer gave him directions, saying "That's your helicopter over there, sir. "

"Bush was seen in Belgium going to a chocolate shop sampling chocolates. Let's see, what do we know about Bush? He's very lucky. He's in the right place at the right time. He speaks slowly. Now he thinks life is like a box of chocolates."

-Jay Leno

"[President Bush] was disappointed because he spent two days in Spain, and he didn't get to see the Eiffel Tower."

-Conan O'Brien

"Bozo the clown, on the air for 40 years in Chicago, retired.. .[But] this isn't die original Bozo. This is his …